The Art of Pain & Pleasure

"Most of us have created numerous ways to feel bad, and only a few ways to truly feel good."
- Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within

I remember it like it was yesterday, pressing my favorite white dress shirt. Fastening my new orange tie and shining my new wingtips. I purchased a spring grey slim fit suit just for this special day. The day I graduated undergrad with a BS in Electrical Engineering, the happiest day of my life. Just writing about it provokes a joyous feeling like no other. Often times I think back to this day to bring back the jubilant emotions I felt when I walked across the stage. I want to share with you this tactic and how to utilize it to promote better success in accomplishing your goals. 

One thing that is certain in life is that there will be challenging situations, many will be unavoidable. In certain instances, we can not control the timing of certain hardships. But we can control our response to these hardships. In my recent learning, I have discovered that your life is immensely dictated by emotions. Emotions are present in every decision we make, sometimes limiting us from our true potential. 

Managing these emotions becomes the strenuous task that most people encounter both consciously and subconsciously. It is almost unfair to yourself to let emotions dictate your life when you have full control over them. Now this is easier said than done, but let me put the concept into perspective.

In this very moment, if you smiled as if you have just won the lottery, you will feel a striking feeling of happiness. When God created us, he gave us the ability to shift our emotions in an instant. This shift is made possible through the way our brains are wired. We attach emotions and feelings to certain ideas, images, and sounds. 

If you at any moment started to imagine a joyous moment in your life, it would undoubtedly bring a feeling of joy and happiness into your present state, possibly even making you smile. Contrarily, If you were to imagine an unhappy moment in your life, you would feel your mood darken. Let me explain why. 

The two emotions that dictate our life the most are pain and pleasure. The things we associate pleasure with are where we usually find the most success and they often bring us the most joy, while the things we associate pain with brings us fear and hesitation, often times resulting in failure. Thus, addressing those areas of pain and boosting the areas of pleasure becomes a tactic to promote more success in your life, by removing doubt, fear, and hesitation and replacing it with joy, confidence and triumph.

For example, a past relationship of mine failed because I began to associate more pain with the relationship than pleasure, causing me to give up on it. I lost faith in the pleasure of the relationship and only associated pain with it. This is a position many people find themselves in during relationships, they reach a breaking point. But the difference maker is whether or not that pain breaks them, or if they are strong enough to replace those painful experiences with pleasurable experiences. 

This is what you must do with the goals you want to accomplish in life. You may be in a position where you have associated pain with exercise and eating healthy because you have constantly failed at staying consistent or seeing progress. Or you may have failed at approaching someone you were attracted to because you could not find the courage. That lack of courage causes you to associate pain with approaching people. Over time, the cascading effects of these painful experience begin to hinder your approach to these goals. 

Instead you must challenge yourself to create pleasure with the goals you set. Find a technique that works, don't be afraid to try new ones either. Remind yourself of your success often as a confidence builder. No one has ever got better at something by staying the same. 

As humans we have only been able to evolve because of the new and constant challenges we face and the evolution that follows. Once you start approaching those attractive people or start sticking to that diet plan you keep putting off, you will then begin to remove the painful experiences and also begin to build the confidence and discipline necessary to be successful. Find success and joy in the goals you set, no matter how small. 

As a way to promote more pleasure, I challenge you to not view something as 'painful' but instead as a 'challenging situation'. When something bad goes wrong, instead of thinking "Why?" think "How?". Ask yourself "How can I become better?". Asking yourself "Why?" is more of a question of pain, whereas asking yourself "How?" will promote cleaner emotions and evoke your brain to find an applicable solution. It is your God given ability to find a solution to any problem you face, as humans we have been doing it for years. 

Think back to the Civil Rights Movement. If those glorious leaders would have sat around asking "Why" no progression would have been made. Ask yourself "How can I lose 10 lbs this year?" and "How can I hit my work deadlines early?" and watch your brain do the rest. Remember that Faith without works is dead, so don't forget to complement this tactic with some hard work and dedication. 

Now that I have supplied you with this new tool in accomplishing your goals, go out and start putting it into action! You will always find yourself trying to accomplish new and challenging goals, and by adding this tool you will be more prepared. Every day is a chance to become a better version of yourself! Love.

Bless Up, 

- young king

be sure to leave a comment. I would love to hear your perspective.